I don’t know what it is about dreams, but I had a work-related dream that I was tasked with playing and writing about The Lord of the Rings Online for my day job, so now I’m reinstalling and patching LOTRO instead of sleeping. LOL
This was promptly followed by a strange nightmare related to work once again, so now I’m unable to relax. Sigh…
I’ve not been able to play Fallout 4 in two days because my computer sort of went kaput on me.
A long afternoon and evening, as well as P26,000 ($550) later, I now have a new motherboard, a better processor, and 16GB of RAM.
I’m still updating my computer to get back all the Windows 7 updates I lost, unfortunately. 🙁
Also, I have to redownload Fallout 4 and my MMORPGs. 🙁 That’s going to take a while.
I made my PS4 Destiny character look like my EVE character, which I thought was a fun thing, so I’d like to put them side by side.
Hahaha. So much weird grindy fun with that shooter.
First it was Wildstar,
Then I downloaded Anarchy Online, but never booted it up.
Now I’m tempted to either restart one of my old Eve accounts, or start from scratch since I can’t remember a thing.
Why don’t I just play my FFXIV character?! Why am I so anxious about going through more group content?! Argh.
I want to play Anarchy Online for some reason.
I know barely anything about it, and everything I’ve read on the matter seems like gibberish, as I have no context for understanding. 🙁
I originally backed Crowfall three weeks or so ago, but honestly, I don’t think I can justify paying for it.
So I did something I’ve never done before. I took out my Crowfall crowdfunding pledge.
Sure they have something working now, but for some reason, I have it in the back of my mind that I’m either going to get scammed, or going to feel bad that I spent money on something I may not enjoy for a long while.
It may also be because I feel burned by Pathfinder Online… which doesn’t appeal to me now after backing it.
I don’t know if others feel the same, but I just wanted to share the feelings I had on this.
It’s funny. I think the only time when I can actually write something on this blog is when the online game I REALLY want to play among the games I have in my stockpile is having maintenance.
Case in point, right now I’m writing because I Elder Scrolls Online has maintenance right now.
Funny thing is, I could be spending this time working some first impressions articles for work, but I really want to just unwind with the game I actually want to play.
I want to blog about games more, and maybe re-earn my monicker as a “games blogger” but instead I’m a tech writer/editor and a games columnist for the two jobs I have.
Funny how that works. I’m still happy and I still get to play games, but sometimes, you sorta miss the days when you weren’t busy. Then again, I’m likely to miss the days when I actually had a job.
Ah well, I’ll enjoy my time, however I find it.
I’ve written part of this story before, so I apologize if some of you may be reading it again.
Back in 2006, I was working for a video game news website. It wasn’t a very strong website so much as it was a job that I felt empowered doing. My writing meant something, and people read it, and I got paid for it.
I learned through that experience that I could earn a living by writing, by honing my craft, and by being the best darned person I could be.
In 2008, I was let go from that job, but they never quite explained to me why I was being let go. I doubted my writing abilities for for nearly four years, only writing blogs instead of looking for paid writing work.
I sunk into a depression so deep that I treat 2008-2012 as horrible years for me professionally, as I hid in Graduate School yet never finished because it wasn’t really what I wanted.
Throughout this time, I wanted to write for Massively so bad. I’d wait for openings, and I’d be too afraid to sign up or I’d try but not get picked, and I’d feel let down… but that feeling of wanting to write for Massively was strong enough to make me keep on writing on a blog. This blog.
In 2012, my friend Cassandra invited me to try pitching (that was a new word to me then) as a writer for MMORPG.com, and I jumped at it. I was afraid of the rejection, but I tried anyway because writing about games meant a lot to me.
I got in, and eventually after getting enough courage to keep trying to find paid writing gigs, I got a chance to write for Rappler.com as a tech reporter, and now as a desk editor as well as writing tech and the gaming piece here and there.
Living out my passions meant a lot to me, and I’m sure that same feeling runs through each staffer of Massively and MMORPG.com in equal measure.
The pay and the comments, however high or low the pay was or however bad or good the comments were, these were reminders that my writing meant something to someone. That my writing mattered. That I mattered.
I’m writing this to say that if it weren’t for the inspiration I got from reading Massively in its early days, I probably would have been a very lost soul today.
I salute the staff of Joystiq and Massively as they go on new endeavors, an unwritten journey that has yet to be chronicled.
-Victor Barreiro Jr.
When I first started playing Guild Wars 2, I was turned off by it. A few years later, and it’s become a game I want to experience by changing how I choose to play it, by being my altoholic self and looking for the character types and professions that best suit me.
I enjoyed the livestream announcing Guild Wars 2: Heart of Thorns, and even more importantly, I don’t feel tied down to Guild Wars 2 in the meantime. I can just enjoy whatever I want to play, and that’s that.
That’s a good place to be. A very liberating place to be, when it comes to enjoying something.