Category Archives: humor
Syp of Bio Break recently posted a list of some of the MMO Topics that have been discussed so often, they’ve been beaten to death.
Of course, like Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother, I took that as a challenge to incorporate each one of those elements into a blog post. Now, I could have done it simply enough with just a really kilometric post about all those topics in some sort of meandering fashion, but I was listening to Electric Light Orchestra’s Twilight and thought, “If Twilight was an MMO…”
So I decided to combine the fictional (OR IS IT!?) Twilight MMO with some other well-known or recently announced MMOs, and thus, we have Twilight: The MMO Song.
Feel free to sing along. Cheers!
Twilight: The MMO Song
(Please follow along to the tune of Electric Light Orchestra’s Twilight)
The visions dancing in my mind:
Playing a girl with nice behind
In my MMO of choice today
I paid for sex change RMT
for my Pally in WoW, you see
“A hot Blood Elf Pally Chick,” they would say!
With your head held high and your scarlet lies
You promised permadeath but to no surprise
You changed your mind, We’d resurrect;
If I was dev, I’d change that back!
Twilight: An MMO for Teenaged Girls!
Twilight: A game they play, but they should stay
Away from Me!
During the night, a raid was phased
A casual wanted a space:
“I’m such a noob, can someone port me there?!”
The hardcore, they just all complain,
“To casuals, it’s just a game.”
The discussion just will not go away.
It’s MMO or not at all, An MMO ain’t Firefall.
Twilight, Twilight: Open Beta Sucked, Now you’re just f*cked
We’ll PLAY FOR FREE!
Will Star Wars Galaxies Pre-NGE Come Back?
With your head held high and your scarlet lies
You promised a story, but you brought me GRIND
Eastern or Western MMO’s: you grind a lot, that’s how it goes.
Twilight: An MMO for teenaged girls!
Twilight: Your beta sucked, and now you’re F*cked
Twilight: I only meant to play a while!
Twilight: An MMO for Teenaged Boys!
I was debating with myself whether to show my true colors, and then I thought, “What the hell. You only live once.” Today, I’m going to go out and show some racial pride!
You see, I think Sarnak rock. Hopefully, the explanation below will show you why I think Sarnak are awesome.
1. They’re dragons. None of that Iksar “Oh, I look like a lizard but am actually draconic” business. They look like straight up dragons. Who eat Aviaks for breakfast, with a side of fava beans and a nice chianti.
2. Sarnak have carpentry skills, and we all know Carpentry is the best tradeskill out there.
3. Sarnak have the best starting area out there. None of that overly icy stuff.
4. Hastened Gathering!
5. They’re honorable warriors who don’t want to extinguish other races just to prove their superiority. They just want to beat your butt down and make sure you know who beat you.
6. Two Words: Peter Sarnak.
7. Sarnak is one letter away from the band Karnak, and we all know Karnak has one of the most awesome songs ever created, “Ai Ai Ai Ai Ai Ai Ai.”
I recently succumbed to the urge of playing through the classic Gabriel Knight adventure games. There are many reasons for this, some of which shall remain unknown for the time being, but having had it recommended by a very close friend was certainly chief among them. It also helped that Tim Curry and Mark Hamill are voice actors in the first game (though it will be strange hearing Curry voice a non-villain). This article isn’t so much about Gabriel Knight as it is about the vendor from which I purchased it though.
Rather than pirating the games I opted instead to acquire them through Good Old Games’ online store. As this was my first time using the site I had to create an account with which to track and download my purchases. So I went through the motions of punching in my pertinent info when I came across something that seemed a little… off.
GOG.com certainly appeals to a large number of demographics now doesn’t it?
“Perhaps they’re from the future,” I thought, “and in this future we failed to homogenize ourselves into a gender neutral species and instead branched off into a myriad of gender distinctions, each one a product of attitude honed to a fine edge along the evolutionary precipice. What a world that would be! So many new peoples to encounter… and hate! Where would we draw our figurative lines in the sand in that faraway time? Already we throw fits over gays and lesbians, what derogatory labels would these futuristic bigots apply to homosexual Breddas or Xippies? Would Jedi from Britain be referred to as Sith (you know, ’cause the accent automatically makes them evil)? And what the hell is a Bad bwai?!”
Well, whatever the case, so long as I can be a Funky Monkey it’s all the same to me.
So over on Google Buzz, Tobold found a nice bit of blogging over at louisgray.com. Basically, we’ve now got a set of faux FTC Disclosure Icons that’ll allow bloggers to express their material relationship with a company without the need for long-winded text.
Just slap on an icon and you’re good to go!
If you’re wondering who drew these wonderful icons, you can thank Jeannine Schafer for the whole lot of them.
And no, I did not have sexual relations with anyone mentioned in this blog post.