I recently succumbed to the urge of playing through the classic Gabriel Knight adventure games. There are many reasons for this, some of which shall remain unknown for the time being, but having had it recommended by a very close friend was certainly chief among them. It also helped that Tim Curry and Mark Hamill are voice actors in the first game (though it will be strange hearing Curry voice a non-villain). This article isn’t so much about Gabriel Knight as it is about the vendor from which I purchased it though.
Rather than pirating the games I opted instead to acquire them through Good Old Games’ online store. As this was my first time using the site I had to create an account with which to track and download my purchases. So I went through the motions of punching in my pertinent info when I came across something that seemed a little… off.
GOG.com certainly appeals to a large number of demographics now doesn’t it?
“Perhaps they’re from the future,” I thought, “and in this future we failed to homogenize ourselves into a gender neutral species and instead branched off into a myriad of gender distinctions, each one a product of attitude honed to a fine edge along the evolutionary precipice. What a world that would be! So many new peoples to encounter… and hate! Where would we draw our figurative lines in the sand in that faraway time? Already we throw fits over gays and lesbians, what derogatory labels would these futuristic bigots apply to homosexual Breddas or Xippies? Would Jedi from Britain be referred to as Sith (you know, ’cause the accent automatically makes them evil)? And what the hell is a Bad bwai?!”
Well, whatever the case, so long as I can be a Funky Monkey it’s all the same to me.