This NDA is entirely fictional. Any resemblance to non-disclosure agreements, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Also, this was inspired by True Events. Truly.
Dear User,
Congratulations! You have been selected to participate in the beta testing process for Thrift: Prize of the Compliant.
In order to participate in the pre-release testing of Thrift: Prize of the Compliant, you must read, UNDERSTAND (we cannot stress this enough, dear user), and accept the following Terms of Use, License Information, and Non-Disclosure Agreement below. Don’t just skip to the end and press “Accept” (especially since we did not put an Accept button at the end of this thing). If you are already itching to scroll at the bottom, feel free to ignore this warning at the cost of your soul. By clicking the “Agree” button below, you agree to be legally bound by the terms of this agreement.
TERMS OF USE, LICENSING INFORMATION AND NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT FOR THE TESTING OF A PRE-RELEASE GAME
Three Ton Birds Corp. (henceforth known as “The Company who wishes you would read, understand, and comply with the following statements”) has developed and designed the pre-release version of Thrift: Prize of the Compliant (henceforth known as “the game”) to allow a set number of people to test the feature set, capabilities, and performance of the game, as well as the ability of individuals to resist bringing up their sense of entitlement on beta forums. By clicking on the “Agree” button below,
1. You promise that you are at least 18 years of age, hopefully mature and sensible enough to understand the legal and long-term repercussions of your actions, are not a principal or employee of The Company who wishes you would read, understand, and comply with the following statements, and are doing this on a voluntary basis, without expecting remuneration, compensation, or gratitude from the gaming public at large. If you are not, you should not have attempted to enter the beta to begin with.
2. You accept that The Company who wishes you would read, understand, and comply with the following statements has the power to accept or revoke your access at any time for whatever reason they see fit, and y0u cannot throw a bitch fit on the forums or your personal blog as a result of such. If you are accepted, you also agree this agreement is a binding contract between you and The Company who wishes you would read, understand, and comply with the following statements.
3. You acknowledge that your participation on the beta will require some access on the part of The Company who wishes you would read, understand, and comply with the following statements to your computer specifications and DXDiag information, and will not throw a bitch fit at the fact that the pre-release program is a complex piece of technological work that cannot be tested by one single company on every computer specification setup known to man.
4. You acknowledge that The Company who wishes you would read, understand, and comply with the following statements may, at its discretion, choose to charge a fee to acquire the beta software and/or gain access into the pre-release testing program. Again, you also agree to not throw a bitch fit if such a thing, rare as it is, happens in the future.
5. You accept that The Company who wishes you would read, understand, and comply with the following statements may choose to move the pre-release testing dates to better facilitate the remedy of any issues that have come up as a result of internal and prior beta testing, and will not throw a bitch fit if such a thing does occur during the pre-release testing phase.
6. You will not throw a bitch fit if something doesn’t work because HELLO… It’s a freaking beta.
7. You agree to the terms of the agreement as indicated below.
AGREEMENT
Licensing Information.
You have a license to use this software, but The Company who wishes you would read, understand, and comply with the following statements made it, so it’s The Company who wishes you would read, understand, and comply with the following statements’ intellectual property. Don’t steal our stuff, and we won’t sue you.
You also agree to indemnify (not hold us responsible) for any losses you may incur as a result of losing this software. This includes sleep you may give up, family you may neglect, and money you may gamble on our future e-sport venture based on the game.
You hereby agree to test the shit out of this pre-release version. Break anything you can in-game, spot every spelling and grammar mistake available, and point out any other screwups The Company who wishes you would read, understand, and comply with the following statements has made, and make sure you note these either in-game through the bug report system or through the beta forums. Just please, for the love of everything good in this world, don’t simply complain about it. Make your beta issue report as detailed as possible in order for us to determine how to best replicate the bug and fix it on our end.
Confidentiality
Much like Fight Club, the only rule of our confidentiality agreement is that you don’t talk about beta, at all, except on our beta forums. Not on Twitter, Facebook, the game’s regular forums… NOWHERE ELSE EXCEPT THE BETA FORUMS or in a court of law as mandated by your respective governmental body. When we drop the NDA, then you can talk all you want, but not before.
Warranty (actually, the lack thereof)
You acknowledge that the game is a beta version, and will not throw a bitch fit if something doesn’t work. Yes, this is the second time this has been mentioned, because no one wants added stress from dealing with idiocy on a daily basis. If something doesn’t work, tell The Company who wishes you would read, understand, and comply with the following statements through the proper channels mentioned above.
Miscellaneous
Break anything in the agreement above, and we will find you and make you pay… Oh, will we make you pay. Mwahahahaha!
[Agree] [Disagree]